That's What You Get, Percy
by StarlightStudio
Summary: "We think he might be talking about us." When Percy pulls something worthy of the Stolls, karma decides to slap him in the face later. Real hard. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.**

* * *

I flipped on the TV to a random channel; it turned out to be MuchMusic. I shrugged and flopped down on my bed, picking up the latest edition of _RockStar Daily_. Oh snap! They had the coolest new line of guitars out, and it was limited edition. I sure needed a new one after Hera broke my old one a couple of weeks ago.

"…and Green Day will be…" oh okay…wait, Green Day? OH SNAP!

I leapt off my bed and jumped onto the couch, turning the volume to the loudest.

Apparently, Green Day was holding a concert in a hotel fairly near to Camp Half-Blood, although it would still take some travelling. Oh well, Nico liked Green Day too and he could just shadow travel us.

"…they are giving out a pair of free tickets…" oh, those tickets were so mine.

Then, someone idiotic decided to knock on my door just as I was calling the ticket line, ready to use the Mist to manipulate their minds.

"Who?" I barely got out before Grover and Nico opened my door wide open. The satyr was pretty fast and strong as he hauled me out my door and towards Percy's cabin.

"What are we doin-" I said before Nico clamped a hand over my mouth. I resisted the urge to bite his fingers off.

"Shh. Percy and Annabeth are inside there. We think that they might be talking about us." Old kelp brain wouldn't dare…would he?

* * *

"Oh, you didn't Percy!" I said disbelievingly. He nodded smugly.

"Oh, yes I did!" I held back a laugh.

"To all of them?" I giggled. Percy nodded.

"You've got to tell me every last detail!" I squeaked.

Now, normally, I wouldn't approve of Percy doing something like this, since Thalia, Nico, and Grover were my friends, but this was just too funny. Percy lowered his voice just a tad and leaned in a bit.

"Okay, so I'll start with Nico's prank…"

* * *

"Persephone, dear?" I called out down the hall. It was weird. It was winter, and normally Persephone would always appear in the dining hall on time, with a bright smile across her face, but today, she was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't even find my darned mother-in-law, Demeter, who was visiting. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Guess I better watch my language.

I sat down in my seat and waited for another couple of minutes before I realized that Demeter and Persephone were on their way here. How you ask? Well, vines started wrapping around my chair, waist, and throat real fast. _Poison ivy vines._ I gagged helplessly for a few seconds before I came back to my senses and used my powers to turn the vines to ashes.

Demeter and Persephone appeared in a blinding flurry of an overpowering wheat smell and flowers. They were arguing with each other, and, for once, didn't seem to be mad at me.

"HADES!" Or maybe not. Her bellows filled the entire room, and it seemed to be magnified by ten times because of the room's vastness.

"What do you want now Demeter? Or just the usual?" I asked nonchalantly, because I'd been through this many times before, every winter day for the last few millennia. By the second millennia, I'd gotten used to it.

"It's your son, Death Breath!" She screamed. It took me a moment to realize that she was talking about Nico and not me. I frowned.

"My son did nothing wrong!" I said defensively. Demeter shook with rage. Her face turned the colour of her precious tomatoes. From Persephone's hands, she ripped out a sheet of paper and waved it agitatedly in the air.

"Yes he did!" She screeched. "He wrote this-this letter of madness to me! How dare he!" I snapped and the paper flew into my hands. I studied it curiously before warily reading it aloud.

"_Dear Demeter, or should I say, grandmother-"_ Demeter gagged.

"_I just wanted to let you know that you are not only the worst grandmother ever, but the worst mother ever too."_ Demeter turned her fiery eyes upon Persephone, who gulped and said "I appreciate you, mother."

"_I mean, with Persephone and the pomegranate fruit? That was pathetic. And it was a fruit; you should've known it was coming! Why did you let my dear aunt Persephone go to the underworld anyways, dear grandmother?"_ Demeter and Persephone both shrieked at the use of the words 'aunt' and 'grandmother'.

"_You should really get some parenting skills. Maybe from Hera, although she doesn't do anything good herself. That's it for now. Adios. Nico."_ I gulped. Oh man.

I was secretly proud of my son for being able to piss Demeter off this well, but a part of me felt deeply sorry for the mess he just got himself into.

"I hate that boy!" Demeter screamed. "Prepare yourself, Nico di Angelo for the worst week of your LIFE!" She vanished. I grimaced, thinking about all the boiled cabbage and cereal he'd have to eat. Persephone looked at me.

"You sure he isn't a son of Ares?"

* * *

I erupted into a mass fight of laughter so loud, probably all the cabins had heard me. Percy shushed me, but he started to laugh too.

"Oh man, Percy, that's your best feat yet!" I managed to get out between giggles. He smirked.

"Wait till you hear what I did to Grover…"

* * *

"Juniper! Juniper!" I heard Percy scream to me from across the field. He was jogging towards me, and he looked anxious to tell me something.

I had been taking a break from being cooped up in my tree all day. I had been sprawled out on the soft forest grass, watching the ants crawl on my purple gossamer dress when I had heard Percy.

Panting, he dropped down on the grass next to me.

"What's wrong?" I asked nervously.

"…Grover…" My elfish ears immediately perked up at the mention of my loving boyfriend satyr, Grover.

"What? What's wrong with Grover?" Percy seemed to have regained his breath, and now he looked worried.

"Well, it happened the other day when I met him in Central Park." I nodded, wanting to hear more. Grover had told me that he was going to be in Central Park.

"I hadn't gotten a chance to talk to him that much, because when I arrived, well he was kinda busy…" I scrunched up my eyebrows.

"Busy with what?"

"Well, he was being chased by a crazy wood nymph that was supposed to be 'in love with him'." Percy put air quotations around the last couple of words as I frowned. Grover wouldn't dare. Percy read my expression.

"Grover had no interest in her, but he had trouble getting away." Really Grover? You couldn't get away from a wood nymph?

"So, he kinda had some help." Percy paused. I ushered him to continue.

"He had to get help from a blueberry bush. You know…the blueberry bush…" I gasped as I realized that it was the same bush that Grover had fallen in love with once before.

"She just sorta shot some spikes, and the delusional nymph went running off. And then she…" Percy pursed his lips.

"What? What?" I was becoming agitated now.

"Um, he sorta kissed her."

"WHAT?" I yelled. I was off, running towards the nearest water fountain with a golden drachma, before Percy could even realize I was gone.

* * *

I gasped.

"Oh my, Grover must've had it hard." I felt sorry for the poor satyr, getting yelled at by Juniper for something he didn't do. Percy was quite a good actor. He laughed.

"I know. Women always make it so difficult." He chuckled before he saw my glare. He gulped.

"So, who was the last person?" I asked.

Percy cackled evilly.

"Thalia…"

* * *

"Zeus! ZEUS!" I heard Hera call, or more like scream at me from the other side of the Olympus throne room. I hastily made my way over to her. Hermes was standing nervously beside her, fidgeting with his fingers. I couldn't blame the guy. Hera held a slip of paper that looked like a telegram.

"Zeus, explain this!" She shoved the paper in my face. It turns out it was a telegram. I raised an eyebrow.

"Have you read it yet?" Hera fumed. "Only part of it." She mumbled.

"_Hera. First off, you are a terrible mother._" Hermes covered his ears gingerly at Hera's screech. I cleared my throat and continued to read.

"_You want to know why? I know a little secret of yours."_ Hera looked confused.

"What secret?" She asked. I stared at her.

"You only read the first two sentences?" I asked. She glared at me.

"Keep reading."

"Ahem. _I know for a fact, because I have met her, that you have a demigod daughter named Kell-_WHAT?"

Hera screeched. "How does she know?" Then she immediately clamped a hand over her mouth, realizing her mistake.

"YOU'RE THE GODDESS OF MARRIAGE AND YOU GO AROUND HAVING CHILDREN WITH MORTALS?" I shouted.

"Hmph. I'm good enough." I said, sticking my chin up while Hera glowered with pure evil at first the telegram and then the poor person who gave it to her, Hermes. He whimpered and then fainted.

"_With love, Thalia Grace."_ Hera snarled.

"That girl is gonna get some serious punishmen-" I glared at her.

"Don't touch my daughter. You couldn't have held this secret for much longer anyways." I looked at Hermes on the ground.

"And you should learn to treat our children a bit better I suppose." I turned to walk away, and I heard Hera mutter under her breath, "you're still going to get a punishment, even if minor, Thalia…"

* * *

"Hmm, I wonder what punishment she got." I heard the muffled voice of Percy from inside his cabin. I fumed. That was why Thalia's guitar had been broken by Hera. Seaweed Brain was so in for it. I clutched my stomach, still ready to vomit at the thought of boiled cabbage.

I saw Grover glaring at the door furiously, and he looked madder than he had ever looked before. We were all pressed up against the door, caught up in our thoughts, so we didn't realize when the other side had become silent. All of a sudden, the door flew open, and all three of us fell onto the ground.

I raised my head sheepishly, and then I remembered that Percy should be the one feeling uneasy.

Before I could even say a threat, Thalia was up, with such a murderous look on her face, it would've made my dad proud.

Percy let out a girly yelp as Thalia closed her hand into a fist, little shocks of electricity dancing around it. No words needed.

He bolted out the cabin door, Thalia on his heels. I heard the distant rumble of thunder, and then a zap of lightning, as Percy's far-off screams travelled across the field.

"Hehe." I cackled. That'll teach him never to mess with us again.

* * *

**Okay, so unlike my other oneshot, this one is more carefree and everyday-ish; as normal as Camp Half-Blood can quite get. If I do another oneshot, can I have some suggestions on the topic?**

**Also, could I please have some reviews? My most recent and first oneshot only got ONE review, and my new story only has like, around one as well.**

**Rate and Review! Thanks!**


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